Grateful for who I am

I had a great realization yesterday thanks to DH and my brother. I am grateful for who I am.
I came to realize that my long standing desire to connect and stay connected with so many people in my life is MY personality. Not the personality of those I love and care for. So there is no reason for me to feel upset if they don't share my desire for connection. This has given me such a relief. I probably knew this at some earlier point in my life, but yesterday it all became  'okay'.

I texted my brother asking if I should apologize to my family for something I must have done which has caused them to be very stand-offish with me. For a number of years, as I moved back to the same state most of them live in, I have called, sent cards, delivered flowers or gifts in celebration of their birthdays etc. I would try my best to attend all my niece and nephew birthdays and do my social rounds with my siblings. But the funny thing is, my siblings didn't seem to want to engage in social activities with me.  At first, I thought it was because I had lived far away for a long time, but I soon began to think it was me. That I had done something to offend my family and so I did what I thought anyone in that situation would do... I tried to 'fix' it.  After years of emails, conversations at these family gatherings and even text message hellos I received nothing in the form of a 'relationship' with most of my siblings.  But during this time, I have become closest with two of my brothers who I think hold onto our relationship in strong part because I have been so resistant to let it fall aside.  I realize today that I am a social being. I love my family. I love having friends and getting to know the people I share this world with. I also am one of those people who take the extra step to 'keep in touch'. I don't think of this as a fault. I am now aware that it is part of what makes me who I am. That special something that I created all my own, not given be my birth family. It is something I should celebrate and share (wisely). ;)