Grateful for Time - and what I've learned this month

It's been a while since I've come right out with what I am grateful for in my post. I needed some time to vent. This year didn't kick off the way I would have preferred. But what does happen the way we imagine it, right?

My loss at the beginning of the year was and in some ways still is a very deep shattering sorrow that I am slowly moving past.  Everyone reacts differently to stresses in their lives. I have been one to keep my medical problems to my self. Never felt it was important to share my troubles with others. I enjoy being a sympathetic ear, a beacon of light that helped others through their dark days always standing tall and holding shoulders when they would fall in tears. 

What have I learned in January of 2013? I learned that time doesn't heal all things - but the distance that can make it easier to move forward.  Taking time to grieve, to laugh to rest, to do, to not do - you get what I'm saying. Taking time to just feel what you are feeling is refreshing.  Earlier this month I experienced tears, pain, fits of laughter and moments of silence. I judged my healing process, I judged how others handled my process. I think one of the most important things I did for myself, was to give myself the gift of a simple moment. Time.  

I am really growing up -  my fears and doubts and optimisim are being given this gift of time - to be fully expressed.  I am sleeping throughout the night. I even DREAM.  I am finding true freedom in welcoming this gift of a ticking clock. It's not an enemy today. Today, it is my mentor.

My time to parent is coming, I am preparing the best I can.