Grateful for - a positive being a positive

Hey gang,

I hope you all had a great New Year's!

Mine was a mixed bag. I had a baseline US scheduled for Sunday, went in on CD2 (or so I thought) and cysts were found. Not one or two but a bundle of them and they were huge. So, of course the technician tells me we will likely not be starting this cycle and that we may not even have to do blood work.  But low and behold, my RE suggested we do an estrodial check. I find out later on Sunday that that E2 is super high (115). The nurse tells me they want to do a blood pregnancy test, just in case. 

Monday rolls around and it's New Year's Eve - I'm planning to have a couple drinks, since I was under the impression my cycle was screwed but then I get the phone call. 
"We did the blood test and there's a very faint positive, you are pregnant. However, it's so low we are not very confident it will be viable."  So, of course I ask what the number was, what does this mean and where do I go from here?  She says, "it will likely resolve on it's own. The RE thinks an embryo tried to implant but didn't stick.  However, it's possible that you didn't ovulate when we did the trigger shot so this may be a very early testing of a positive pregnancy, and then the bad side would be that this could be an ectopic pregnancy.  We want to schedule you for another blood test next week to keep an eye on this to see it go back down to 0. Then we will discuss if we can move forward with your next cycle."

That's when I took a breathe.  So to wrap this up - basically she's telling me after all these years I get a positive - and it's not really a positive, positive.  I know I can look at this like another stab in the heart (which it is, believe me) or I can consider this a somewhat positive sign that at least I finally got a positive. But what does that mean? I still have issues and I can only hope that this cycle will shed light on some other option that may help us start our family.  I decided to fake the rest of the day not focusing on what was going on in my uterus. I talked my way out of oysters and champagne and toasted 2013 with bubbly water, not once mentioning to our close friends what we were going through.

Part of me really hopes I am a surprise case of "ovulated after the trigger" and am starting a healthy full term pregnancy. And part of me is preparing for the sadness that will inevitably set in if the test comes back negative - or even not conclusive, meaning I may have an ectopic.  There are so many 'what if's' running through my head. Seeing into the future would be really beneficial about now!