Saturday, January 11, 2014

New Year, New Beginnings! New waiting cycles.

There are many difficult things to deal with when you have IF.  One of the most frustrating, are the waiting games.  When will my cycle start, will they find cysts? Will my E2 be at the right level? Will my lining measure up? Did an embryo implant? Is my beta doubling?  And on, and on.

So right now, I am in a one week waiting cycle to find out if I am ready for the 5 day waiting cycle to have my FET, so I can begin a two week wait to see if our little embryo has implanted.  Then begins a cycle of 3 day waiting periods where I will have my beta checked again and again with the hopes the HcG numbers continue to rise.  If I pass all those waiting games, then it wait for 10 weeks to end and with it my PIO shots, then another two weeks before we will be able to share our news with the chosen few!  After that, I hear some women actually go on to have about 28 more weeks of waiting until their baby is born!!!  Am I getting ahead of myself, perhaps.  But after all these years of waiting, this may be the closet shot I have to ever experiencing a healthy pregnancy, so I think I have earned the right to be ahead of myself a bit. :)

As you can see the waiting cycles are endless and will make the most zen Buddha anxious! 

But here I am, we are, at the edge of our  real life sci-fi adventure to create our beautiful family.  I've got my fingers and toes crossed that we will make it happen this month.   I do have some doubts, but for now, I am choosing to be optimistic and inspired by all we have done to get to this point,  we have done the homework, the heavy lifting, paid the enormous fees, developed the emotional balance to come to terms with all that we have lost, and we see all that we may gain.  

We enter these weeks with hope.  Ready to accept whatever comes of all we have out on the line.  We are as ready as we will ever be!

Embracing a New day and a New Year!!