"your emergency is not my emergency"

"your emergency is not my emergency" I just read this quote on another blog I follow. it strikes me as very appropriate as a way to deal with disappointments in relationships. I often get frustrated with friends because they seem to include me when they are having problems in their lives. but when things go well, the calls and e-mails stop. I guess this is because I have always been super empathetic. I want to help those hurt. the challenge is, I usually don't reach out when I have problems. I don't want to bother anyone. so I don't say anything. my emergency may not be theirs, but I tend to make theirs my own. and this has already begun to change... what? is this something positive coming from my struggle with IF? ;) with my IF journey I first kept everything a secret. then months passed and I finally let the secret out to people I 'thought' would KNOW how to help me through. unfortunately, one of my friends, who I have known a long time, just kinda let me go. I reached out a few weeks later to see if we could get together and she never responded. I figure she would prefer to be my friend when the issues are only about her. so I have finally let go as well. a couple other friends have kept up with me in more positive ways, encouraging me to talk about how i feel and then just replying with acceptance on whatever is going on. this has proven a great way to keep my friendships alive. :) my emergency isn't theirs, but these women are taking a step with me. by allowing me to share my anxiety, fears and humor with this diagnosis and all the strange proceedures I've chosen to try. these women allow me to have my own emergency, but have let me know that they love and support my decisions. they remnd me there is no right or wrong, things just are and may be resolved in time, one way or the other. i am so lucky to have found soul sisters who are teaching me this very precious lesson. for those who may have friends going through IF, just listening and sharing a tea is often enough. we don't need advice unless specifically requested. these days I am still more selective with who I will share this journey with (in the real world) but the important lesson I've learned is that I can still share my journey with new people and don't have to hold any regrets.