What can you do in 30 days?

It's great to try something new for 30 days ... At least that is what I began today. Knowing that I am about to embark on an experiment to do something - anything for 30 days. My first project is a simple one. Practice Spanish with Rosetta Stone for 1 hr each day.

I watched a snippet of this from a TED Talk - so now I'm giving it a try!

I began today and to be honest, I think it will be fun!

I'm already thinking of my next challenge - making a wish a day, complimenting a stranger each day, telling a truth about myself to someone new, lose 15 lbs? .. I don't know where this will take me, so I'll just start with the small and the known. One. Day. At. A. Time.

Wish me luck?

For arguments

Yep, I seriously wrote that I'm grateful for arguing. Well, not arguing, but for the communication that sometimes requires the pulling of teeth to land in ones soul.

I just had one of those tough connections with my husband. He's a wonderful guy and while I have been going throug some tough self exploration which often feels like self exportation, I was taking out the anger and fear in my life on him. He pulled me aside, and asked me tough questions. I nearly died. I could finally understand what all those love lost songs are about - and I was happy living my life without ever having known such pain. Our argument went on for hours. I bawled like I've never done before. I shared my fears and anxiety with this man that I have known and loved more than half my life. And this was the first time I had done this with him. He asked, pushed me to tell him what was happening in my heart. Why I was doing these mean things to him. I even explained that I was un aware that I was being so mean, that I only thought I was protecting him. He asked me to be the family that I want, and to do that meant sharing me fears, my questions, my anxiety.

As I go to bed tonight, eyes puffy, nose running from hrs of tears and pleas for forgiveness and redo's, I am reminded to be grateful. To be grateful for arguments. For they too can bring about love compassion and understanding. Especially if you are patient and loving in your expression. If you argue from love and for love you can really find the spark of the soul that was lost with years of living outside yourself.

I am grateful for today's argument. Grateful to be closer to my husband.

looking fear in the eye

I feel like I'm back to square one. I have been working so hard to make changes and move things in my life toward something.  But I'm only more scared than I was when I started. 
I have sought out help, but I don't trust her. I don't trust.  I'd like to learn to trust, but I'd like an apology before I do.  I don't think I'll ever get that apology. 
I'm afraid of being angry at my friends and family. I would like to put this in storage and never think of it again. But because I don't know just what 'it' is, I'm compelled to be curious and look for a resolution to help me find my Self.

Argh. I'm getting another year older very soon - why am I getting so unhappy the older I get?  I'm not enjoying this time. The 30s have turned out not to be good years for me.

In shock - having read, 8 Shocking Signs of American Excess

Grateful my parent brought me up always aware that my shopping habits have consequences.
I just read this blog and thought to share it with you - 8 Shocking Signs of American Excess
In it the writer describes products that Americans are buying, offered, or declined which wreck havoc on the environment and our collective spirit on this planet. Unbelievable.
I have a beautiful small city home, a beautiful dog and supportive husband. We eat lean, we do go out  often, although we live in a city so we often just walk on our special outings. We have a Soda Stream which includes great water bottles that you can fill with sugar free syrups to make any type of soda you like. My favorite is plain ole tap water with a little added bubbly. We clothes shop at new stores, but only once or twice a year and our house has furniture that we bought before we got married and all or old furniture was given to friends in need. In short, we live within our means and recycle as much as we can and have no financial benefit from it. We do well enough to have 2 fancy cars, to buy a second house, to go shopping every month and buy canned soda. But we don't because our home is small, our needs are met and there's no reason to buy excess.

So, why the hell is the rest of America doing throwing the baby out with the bathwater? This list in the blog is ridiculous, as as I said earlier. Sickening.

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

sharing a walk with my brother and his daughter

I had the great pleasure of walking around a lake with my brother and his daughter. these are the moments I will cherish forever.
what a wonderful treat to be greated by this family on a sunday afternoon. just to hang out!
so grateful!

lunch with friends

sometimes it's nice to take time out of life to sit down with a good friend and have a beer.
today, i got to do that. for this, i am grateful.

worthy of acknowledgement

What's the weather?
What time is it?
I'm lost and need directions.
When I hear a great quote and want to share it with a friend.
When I want to hear my hubby say "I love you".
Capturing a moment forever.
Staying connected to the office when I'm out of the office.
Tracking my eating habits.
Tracking my exercise habits.
Reading the news.
Reading a book.
Listening to my favorite bands.
Learning a new language.
Ordering a prescription.
Ordering online groceries.
Buying sheet music.

oh, and making a phone call.

for all these reasons, I am grateful for my R2D2!

Being grateful when the world seems to be falling apart.

I'm starting this blog to remind myself, and maybe you, that there are so many things in life to be thankful for. These days, life happens quickly and loved ones come and go - before someone you really care about leaves forever, I hope you let them know how much they mean to you.

It's been a hard few years for me. I've been going through more downs than ups. But with this blog I am challenging myself to keep an eye on the ups.. and post about them daily!

So, here goes!  I hope you'll join in!