Been a while...

Hi.
It's been a while since I've had the guts to blog.
Since last time, I lost our beautiful twins.
There isn't much more to say than that is the most horrific experience of all this IF.
There are no words of support for myself or my hubs.
We have been trying to put our pieces back together.
It's not easy.
We are going to go away for a spell.
To try and learn how to celebrate something again.
We are both, forever changed.
We are at the end of our rope.
We are trying our best to be the best for each other.
When we fail at this, our worlds come tumbling down, again.
It stinks.
We are looking for moments to laugh.
Moments to reflect that life has taken a break from shitting on us.
We are tired of being down.
We are tired of being.
Focusing on the moments - is that all there is?
Why don't we get to focus on the big picture, like so many others?
Why don't we get a break?
We have a 'plan'.
We hope it will work.
It's not ideal.
But it's what we have to work with.
Wishing all of you a love filled Thanksgiving.
Please be good to your selves.