Thank You.

Giving gratitude is such a simple act.

Thank you!

That's really all there is to it.
Just turn your head in the direction of that which makes you smile and say

Thank you!

Is the sun shining?

Are the clouds acting as a blanket over your head, keeping things warm for a spell?

Is the rain dancing to the ground creating pools of puddles waiting for you to splash about?

Why not look up and say

Thank you!

Have you had a terrible day?

Been diagnosed with a life changing disease?

Confronted with another BFN that has left you in tears?

Do you feel there is nothing left to be grateful for?

 

Turn to you friend, blog, religion, family, counselor, pet, plant, bed, a mirror and say

Thank you!

You may be surprised when you realize the quality of the listener you are praising.

 

We may not be your best friends.

We may not be your preacher.

We may not be your family.

 

But we are here and we will listen.

We understand frustration, disappointment, giving up, wanting to quit.

Our ears, our eyes, are focused on you.

Our hearts, are with you.

We carry hope for you when you have grown weary.

 

You are important in this world.

You are doing this 'right'.

You are not too much for me.

Thank you!

 

 





Grateful choices

Gorgeous morning, beautiful day.
I stopped a creepy dude who was following me and another woman around the lake.  He was questioned by the police. Nice to get the creeps off the street.
Connected with some online friends. I'm really finding their support invaluable.
As I begin this next phase, I am terrified. But I will hold my head high.
I do do have choices. But I don't have time.
I have chosen to be hopeful.  I know this may mean I will lose myself in tears and jerks of terror.
I have chosen to be hopeful.
I have chosen, for today.

Grateful for your feet

Perfect cherry tomatoes hide in your cheeks
Butterfly eyelashes resting on tan marshmallow skin
A smile that touches my heart

Arms
    wrap around my waist
       warm my belly
         tucked over my shoulders forever

Hands
    fill the syringe
      hold my hope
        and my weakness

Legs
    walk me to each appointment
       carry my dread
         lead me forward   

Laughter
    picks up my days of low
       creates new memories
          reminds me I'm not alone

Stone strong buns
I am grateful for those fabulous feet!
The man who kissed me 19 years ago, today.

Grateful For ...

It's getting easier.  The last two weeks have been quite a struggle on many levels, but I am happy to state that I am holding it together!  Others would bitch and moan if they were dealing with what I have to each day.  Every angle of my life has truly fallen apart, and here I stand on both feet. I may cry every day and feel my heart breaking, but I fu@king stand up every morning and face my life. 

I am sure that is more than what most people do.

Yes, I am grateful for being me.

Grateful for Time - and what I've learned this month

It's been a while since I've come right out with what I am grateful for in my post. I needed some time to vent. This year didn't kick off the way I would have preferred. But what does happen the way we imagine it, right?

My loss at the beginning of the year was and in some ways still is a very deep shattering sorrow that I am slowly moving past.  Everyone reacts differently to stresses in their lives. I have been one to keep my medical problems to my self. Never felt it was important to share my troubles with others. I enjoy being a sympathetic ear, a beacon of light that helped others through their dark days always standing tall and holding shoulders when they would fall in tears. 

What have I learned in January of 2013? I learned that time doesn't heal all things - but the distance that can make it easier to move forward.  Taking time to grieve, to laugh to rest, to do, to not do - you get what I'm saying. Taking time to just feel what you are feeling is refreshing.  Earlier this month I experienced tears, pain, fits of laughter and moments of silence. I judged my healing process, I judged how others handled my process. I think one of the most important things I did for myself, was to give myself the gift of a simple moment. Time.  

I am really growing up -  my fears and doubts and optimisim are being given this gift of time - to be fully expressed.  I am sleeping throughout the night. I even DREAM.  I am finding true freedom in welcoming this gift of a ticking clock. It's not an enemy today. Today, it is my mentor.

My time to parent is coming, I am preparing the best I can.  

uncomfortable with my self.

i felt so sick last night.  i had a temp of 100, chills and more. something is twitching and i am feeling low again. my brother and his wife had their baby this week.  i am truly happy for them although i can't help myself in feeling jealous, make that sad for myself, not jealous.  we have been trying longer than they have been dating. life isn't fair. that doesn't help. i am so completely alone. my poor hubby wants so badly to support my stupid mood swings, which helps most of the times.  but these really low days there is absolutely nothing, and i mean nothing that pulls me out but time.  so here i sit, hoping time will pass quickly and i will feel like living again.

i'm not done with the roller coaster. it's mid-cycle and that's me thinking optimistically.  my life as i thought it would be is over. forever over.  i only feel i can freely share my feelings on this anonymous blog, which always seems to be so negative. i get down on myself for writing how i am feeling and then rereading it later only to judge myself for writing my truth.  i am so uncomfortable with myself.  i have lost everything that keeps momentum.

what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile? (author unknown)

One of my wonderful support ladies from the online forum posted this and I can't help but share it with all of you!

what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile? (author unknown)

It's a very different disease this IF - But this post made me laugh and feel validated that I'm not a mutant, un-loved by the Universe/God, forgotten, unlucky, doing all the wrong things. I'm just a woman who wants to start a family and is having to do a bit more than most people to reach that end.
So grateful for smart people who share their brilliance like the post below!
-xo, gracie



Oh, the place we go..

what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile? (author unknown)

1. As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!

2. You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!

3. My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.

4. I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.

5. Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

6. Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not a life-threatening illness.

7. So... when are *you* going to start walking?

8. Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk walk walk - everywhere I go!

9. But don't you *want* to walk?

10. You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.

11. You're so lucky... think of the money you save on shoes.

12. I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happy that *I* can walk.

13. I hope you don't try those anti-paralysis drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.

14. Look at those people hiking... doesn't that make you want to hike?

15. Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.

16. Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.

17. I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.

18. I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.

19. You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track & field trophies.

20. Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.

21. If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

22. If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

23. You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here let a real man show you how to walk!

24. You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.

25. Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!

26. Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!

27. When *we* were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much.

28. And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running...

So here's a little hint. If someone you know tells you that she's trying to get pregnant and it's taking longer than expected, DON'T tell her to just relax. Don't tell her to adopt and then surely she'll get pregnant with her own child. Don't tell her that God has a plan for her. Don't say, "At least it's fun trying!" Scheduling sex with the person you love isn't fun. Getting vaginal ultrasounds every other day and intramuscular injections in your ass twice a day isn't fun. Finding out every single month that - yet again - it didn't work this month either is Just. Not. Fun.

DO tell her that you're sorry she's going through such pain/grief/frustration. Do tell her that you're glad she told you. Do tell her that, even if you don't bring it up (because you want to respect her privacy and understand that she might not feel like talking about it sometimes), that you're there for her if she ever wants to talk or vent.

And DON'T feel that because she told you that it's okay for you to tell your other friends, children, co-workers, neighbors, cousins, mailman, whomever - unless she tells you that it's okay to do so. Your need to share news pales in comparison to her need to maintain a shred of privacy and dignity.

-author unknown (if I knew who they were, I'd give them huge props and hugs and thanks for putting this down to share!)